I’ve heard so many mothers describe what you just did.
I admire you for sharing your experience. It's so important for mothers to know what they might experience so they can go into it more prepared.
Knowing that something is a common experience can help us put it into perspective and move through it.
When my son was a newborn, I remember one day feeling completely disconnected, wondering if this was how my life was going to be forever.
Now, know that the lack of sleep, the repetitive diaper changings and feeding and pumping around the clock, having no time or energy for anything else, and the constant worry that I was falling behind and whether my son would be okay were completely overwhelming. On a physical and emotional level.
I felt guilty for not being the mother I wanted to be, but that was a lie.
If I had known all I know now, I would have known I was doing so much, and I was exactly who I wanted to be.
That’s beautiful, Debbie! Realizing you were the mom you wanted to be it’s so powerful.
It was really hard to feel these feelings I shared. I had read about this from other moms but I never thought it would happen to me. But I believe we need to talk about this.
Thank you for being brave enough to share something so beautiful and vulnerable🥺✨So many of us can relate to it, and I know reading something like this would have helped me feel less alone. So maybe there are other mothers out there feeling seen and understood because you opened up in this way🙏🏼
For me, it was the other way round, with my oldest. I’ve written about it too, and even though almost four years have passed, I still find it hard to accept that this is how I felt during my son’s first months. I felt so guilty and like such a bad mother, as if I had failed him. It was so hard, and even writing this comment brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat🥺
But I’m learning to be more compassionate with myself and, like you said, to understand that there was love in those instinctive acts of care too. And that sometimes the bond is something that is built over time, and that doesn’t make it any less beautiful💛
Thank you for this comment, Irene. I really don’t know how I found courage to write about this. I wasn’t planning… but the idea came, I wrote and pressed send. Now I’m happy I did. I’m sorry you also went through it… but, as you said, it doesn’t make our story any less beautiful. Each story is unique and beautiful in its own way.
I relate to this so much. One of my children was born so quickly that as I held him I remember saying "it feels like I'm holding a strangers baby". My brain simply couldn't catch up that in half an hour I'd somehow birthed a baby. It took me a little whille to bond with them. I remember crying at my 6 week appointment that I was taking care of them in every way but it didn't quite feel right. By 4 months old I was utterly in love but I've never forgotten those feelings. Thankyou for sharing your story ❤️
Thank you so much for saying this. This is such a sensitive topic for me… I don’t really know how I could write and press send today. It was kinda of on a whim.
The day after he was born, one of my nurses came to my home and asked how I was doing. I told her I was still processing everything. She said this is a very normal feeling after quick births, this feeling of disconnection…
I’m sorry this also happened to you but I’m also happy to know I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Honestly, I have a post saved in my drafts with a similar theme that I've been too afraid to post. You may just have given me the confidence to share too ❤️
I can imagine the feeling. I remember being so confused… being with my newborn meant I couldn’t be with my daughter and that made me so sad. But the opposite was also true: when I was with her, I felt weird because I thought I should be with my newborn all the time, just like I did with her. And all that happened inside my home. I can imagine it was even more difficult with the boys in the nicu and your daughter at home (and for a thousand other reasons, of course)
Same here! My partner had some health issues before our son was born and he was taking a medicine that made him really stressed… it was awful. It didn’t help at all… but all we needed was time (and a different medicine)
Both my kids were born so quickly and it feels sort of unreal to hold your baby after such an intense experience. Completely normal. And the love is there and grows deeper every day. Thanks for sharing this, it's important for moms 🩷
I’ve heard so many mothers describe what you just did.
I admire you for sharing your experience. It's so important for mothers to know what they might experience so they can go into it more prepared.
Knowing that something is a common experience can help us put it into perspective and move through it.
When my son was a newborn, I remember one day feeling completely disconnected, wondering if this was how my life was going to be forever.
Now, know that the lack of sleep, the repetitive diaper changings and feeding and pumping around the clock, having no time or energy for anything else, and the constant worry that I was falling behind and whether my son would be okay were completely overwhelming. On a physical and emotional level.
I felt guilty for not being the mother I wanted to be, but that was a lie.
If I had known all I know now, I would have known I was doing so much, and I was exactly who I wanted to be.
That’s beautiful, Debbie! Realizing you were the mom you wanted to be it’s so powerful.
It was really hard to feel these feelings I shared. I had read about this from other moms but I never thought it would happen to me. But I believe we need to talk about this.
Here's an idea that came to me.
Our thoughts and our feelings have important messages.
But we need to look under the surface and decode the true message. We can't take anything at face value.
When I felt that desperation that my life would never change, and I resented the situation, I wasn't resenting my son.
The message was that I felt completely overwhelmed and afraid that I didn't matter.
That I needed help and a little variety in my life. I was also sad that I lost all my friends and felt abandoned.
And maybe we romanticize love as a feeling when it's a combination of things.
These aren't fully formed ideas, but I'm going to explore them a little further.
Thank you for being brave enough to share something so beautiful and vulnerable🥺✨So many of us can relate to it, and I know reading something like this would have helped me feel less alone. So maybe there are other mothers out there feeling seen and understood because you opened up in this way🙏🏼
For me, it was the other way round, with my oldest. I’ve written about it too, and even though almost four years have passed, I still find it hard to accept that this is how I felt during my son’s first months. I felt so guilty and like such a bad mother, as if I had failed him. It was so hard, and even writing this comment brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat🥺
But I’m learning to be more compassionate with myself and, like you said, to understand that there was love in those instinctive acts of care too. And that sometimes the bond is something that is built over time, and that doesn’t make it any less beautiful💛
Thank you for this comment, Irene. I really don’t know how I found courage to write about this. I wasn’t planning… but the idea came, I wrote and pressed send. Now I’m happy I did. I’m sorry you also went through it… but, as you said, it doesn’t make our story any less beautiful. Each story is unique and beautiful in its own way.
I relate to this so much. One of my children was born so quickly that as I held him I remember saying "it feels like I'm holding a strangers baby". My brain simply couldn't catch up that in half an hour I'd somehow birthed a baby. It took me a little whille to bond with them. I remember crying at my 6 week appointment that I was taking care of them in every way but it didn't quite feel right. By 4 months old I was utterly in love but I've never forgotten those feelings. Thankyou for sharing your story ❤️
Thank you so much for saying this. This is such a sensitive topic for me… I don’t really know how I could write and press send today. It was kinda of on a whim.
The day after he was born, one of my nurses came to my home and asked how I was doing. I told her I was still processing everything. She said this is a very normal feeling after quick births, this feeling of disconnection…
I’m sorry this also happened to you but I’m also happy to know I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Honestly, I have a post saved in my drafts with a similar theme that I've been too afraid to post. You may just have given me the confidence to share too ❤️
I’m happy to hear that! ❤️ I hope you feel comfortable enough to post it. Whenever you are ready, of course
Beautiful post Bruna!
I felt very similar when my twins were born, and then having them in the NICU made that feeling even harder to process! Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for your comment, Logan! ❤️
I can imagine the feeling. I remember being so confused… being with my newborn meant I couldn’t be with my daughter and that made me so sad. But the opposite was also true: when I was with her, I felt weird because I thought I should be with my newborn all the time, just like I did with her. And all that happened inside my home. I can imagine it was even more difficult with the boys in the nicu and your daughter at home (and for a thousand other reasons, of course)
Definitely! It was something my husband also struggled with too!
Same here! My partner had some health issues before our son was born and he was taking a medicine that made him really stressed… it was awful. It didn’t help at all… but all we needed was time (and a different medicine)
Yes! My husband has needed medication, I never knew postpartum depression also affected men until my obgyn brought it up
There is so much we don’t expect… hope everyone is feeling better now
Slowly for sure 😌
Both my kids were born so quickly and it feels sort of unreal to hold your baby after such an intense experience. Completely normal. And the love is there and grows deeper every day. Thanks for sharing this, it's important for moms 🩷
Thanks for saying this. It’s so good to know we are not alone. ❤️